


Well Shit

by Amoreanonyname



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, Idiots in Love, M/M, No Smut, POV Sam Winchester, Swearing, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:35:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24907711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amoreanonyname/pseuds/Amoreanonyname
Summary: Sam does something impulsive, and realizes something important.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 22
Kudos: 140





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a lil ficlet. Wrote this in like 10 minutes.

So.

That happened. 

Sam kinda sorta forgot Dean was his brother.

Sam kissed him.

It wasn't even a good kiss. Dean was just running out for supplies, and Sam had leaned over and pecked him goodbye before he'd thought about it. Dean looked a bit surprised, but seemed to have an "Okay, then" reaction before leaving. Sam nearly fainted.

No freaking out. Didn't throw a punch. Didn't sit them down then and there for a big important talk. Just mild surprise, then apparent acceptance, then left. Sam was actually pretty sure Dean was going to come back. He was more worried that once Dean's shock wore off, shit would really hit the fan.

How did this happen?

What did this mean?

Well, Sam knew, actually, why it happened and what it meant. He was actually aware that he and Dean had become about 75% married couple at some point. 

He was, in fact, aware that he was in love with him.

Locked up in a corner of his brain, where he mostly refused to admit it even to himself. Let alone anyone else. Let alone Dean. 

But yeah. He knew. He was completely gone for his brother and had been for years. Maybe, in certain ways, his whole life.

Some of Sam's earliest memories were Dean smiling down at him, all warmth and home and affection and love. 

Thirty-odd years later, Dean was still warmth and home and affection and love. Thirty-odd years later, Sam still lived for Dean's smile. Sam was still an adoring baby brother, who looked at his monster-killing big brother and thought, "This person is pure goodness and damned if I know how or why I deserve to have that when so many people don't."

He fell asleep thinking about him. Woke up thinking about him. Dreamed about the two of them, every night. 

The brochure in his drawer. The amulet. Their initials carved into their car and on the table. The tattoos. Having a home together. Growing old together. 

Evil and lies and torture and confusion and insanity. And a hand pressing into his. This is real. 

Twice, Sam struck out on his own. Twice, was completely stunned to see Dean standing in front of him. Twice, swore endlessly that really, he was done, he was out, it was over, even as he walked to the car, the foregone conclusion in the back of his head where he refused to acknowledge it. One more job, one more job, one more excuse, one more reason to not actually go, no matter how much he said he wanted to.

The wrenching guilt over Jess, whose death was just a tiny bit of a relief. Amelia, who he was sure he loved, only to realize he'd been using her. 

He lay beside them and did his best not to think of someone else.

How many times had he woken up beside Dean, thinking of no one else at all?

How many times had he woken up alone, wanting to die? 

"Sam! Sammy!"

Dean had come back and startled him out of his reverie. Standing there with a loose, happy grin on his face, and fondness in his eyes. Was this really just alright?

"Lucy, I'm home."


	2. Okay, Then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean comes to some conclusions of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had planned to write more kissy-action into this chapter, but it turned into something else. I do think their relationship will inch a little further in my fics though ;). In the meantime, I hope readers can have fun with this little emotional moment anyway.
> 
> Also, I wound up with the exact same word count for this chapter as the last one. Which, for Sam and Dean, feels oddly perfect and I just cannot let it pass by without mention ;).

Well. _That_ happened.

Sam had kissed him. Then his eyes bugged out of his head, his mouth fell open, and he looked like he wanted to crawl under the floorboards. In a rare moment of shocked inaction, Dean hadn’t been sure _what_ to do. So he left.

Get the beer, then figure it out.

The gears started turning again as he drove to the store. As he walked in, as he got to the fridge. How the hell was he going to face him? He had to say _something_ about it when he got home. 

What was he even going to say?

The truth was, he didn’t actually mind.

The truth was, he sort of liked it.

Okay, the truth was, he really liked it.

The truth was, he’d been in love with him forever. 

It wasn’t something Dean was quick to acknowledge. It had bubbled under the surface for years, maybe even most of his life. The confused din of _SamSamSamProtectSamWatchOutForSam._ The laser-focus of damn near everything Dean had ever felt.

His focus, his purpose, his reason for damn near everything he’d ever done. This kid - this man - who had been through _so much crap_ , and was still just… the best person he’d ever known. Better than Dean. Better than Mother-freaking Theresa probably. 

And all these years later, Sam was still all of Dean’s reasons. The reason for the tattoo on his chest, for his initials carved into the table and the car. The reason Dean even bothered to get up in the morning, the reason Dean still smiled. 

Years of bullshit, lies and torture and death and blood. And a voice cutting through the noise. _To me, you’ll never be anything but good._

The push and the pull. Wanting Sammy to have a better life, an easier life. But something would happen, Dean would land at his door before he even knew what he was doing. Over and over, promising himself he’d let him go - just after _this_ (whatever _this_ was). Just a little more, just a little longer, he just wasn’t ready yet, just was never quite ready. Just needed him too much, just couldn’t imagine doing anything without him. Ever. 

He remembered Cassie, who he thought he’d loved - but only because she was so much like Sam. Guilt over Lisa and Ben, who’d deserved so much better than a guy who would have traded them both to the actual Devil if it would have gotten his brother back. 

Waking up beside her, not wanting that life at all. Waking up with Cassie, already knowing he was going to leave, already knowing he wouldn’t regret it for a second.

Waking up beside Sam, and even if the world was ending, knowing he wouldn’t choose anything else.

Waking up alone, feeling like he could barely breathe.

He knew what to do.

Striding in with the purpose, calling out his name, and the son of a bitch hadn’t even moved. Big eyes looking at Dean, not knowing what to expect.

This was something Dean had known how to do his entire life. Look at him, smile. Everything’s okay. Everything’s fine.

“Lucy, I’m home.” 

As Sam sagged with relief, Dean moved in closer. It was time to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank everyone for reading. As always, feedback is life!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks everyone. Feedback always welcome!


End file.
